I’m observing myself as I clean up my apartment. And I see that I actually do “deal with myself.”
There are constantly two of me – the one who acts and the one who passes judgment on me acting – who “deals with me.”
Growth-movement leaders called it the critic, constant comment, the monkey mind, etc. I am a three-legged man. There’s me and my constant critic, joined at the hip, here.
I don’t intend to do anything about it except observe it. Paint it with awareness. If it were divine, it would prove to be eternal, permanent. If it isn’t, it’ll disappear. “This too shall pass.” Continue reading Unearthing Constant Critic→
“Self criticism is an art not many are qualified to practice.” ~ Joyce Carol Oates
We live in a world where the theme of unworthiness shows up in all areas in life. As kids, we proudly show off our high marks and perfect behaviors knowing they will earn us praises and approval from adults, and as adults, we constantly judge and punish ourselves for our lack of wealth, success, relationships and others’ good opinions of us. In my healing and coaching practice, the most common story that is told over and over is the one of “I’m not good enough.”
That was the story of my life as well, for over 3 decades. Having grown up in an Asian culture in the 80’s where being an overachiever was encouraged, the accepted, even celebrated method to motivate children was to subject them to harsh criticism and belittling (ie. “who do you think you are”, “you are nothing until you prove your worth so you can be something”, etc.) As a result, I not only internalized the disempowering belief that “I am not good enough” but I also made sure it dominated and manifested in every area of my life — without fail. Continue reading Self Criticism? How to Overcome Your Inner “I’m Not Good Enough” Voice→