By Shanti Rao, Wisdom Pills

Have you ever been berated for possessing bad qualities? Who decides what is good and what is bad? It all depends on a person’s perception of things. One man’s bread may be another man’s poison. It all depends on the circumstance. And as they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

“A great man is made up of qualities that meet or make great occasions.” ~ James Russell Lowell

If you have been the victim of such condemnation, and if it is affecting the way you feel about yourself, this article is just what you need. 

Here are some of those so called bad qualities that might not be so bad after all:

1) Being a “Busy Body”

Some of us are overtly active and have the innate urge to learn it all. We just can’t let things be. We need an answer for everything. We are naturally curious and love to know anything new that happens in the neighbourhood.

Naturally, we’re labelled ‘busy bodies’. They feel we should stop being so pushy and mind our own business.

Tell them to take a walk. There’s a difference between being nosy and being interested; between being a gossip and knowing how to be a decent friend and member of the community. How are you expected to learn new things by being passive and reticent? Your quality of curiosity is what is going to propel you ahead in life. There is so much to learn and the way forward is to actively involve yourself in as many things as possible. Growth is not possible if you are complacent and feel you know everything.

So go right ahead and keep asking questions. Curiosity won’t kill this cat.

“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.” ~ Will Smith, The pursuit of Happiness

2) Being a “Slow Poke”

Contrary to the first point, you’re not the fastest of the lot. You’re methodical, preferring to take your own sweet time with things. You’re not bothered about what the others are doing and at what speed.

Life is a series of adjustments; you can make changes along the way, but if you don’t start moving forward you’ll never get anywhere. ~ Kimora Lee Simmons

But does anyone have the right to call you lazy just because you’re slow on the take and are not too quick to act? Is it necessary to always be on the move and do things as soon as they are thought of?

Not really! What others see as lazy in you may not really be a bad quality. Haste definitely makes waste. Why be in such a tearing hurry that you do things without thinking them through? Is the world going to speed off and leave you behind if you are a bit slow?

Sometimes, a well thought out manoeuvre requires time, and that comes from not jumping the gun. You have a special ability to be calm in trying times, to think of all the pros and cons before making a well thought out decision. Taking time to act gives you the space to think, strategize and introspect, so you actually end up making fewer mistakes than someone who rushes in without thinking. Speed is not always a good thing. Great going. Don’t let naysayers sway you from a truly natural and desirable quality.

3) Being Proud

You have high self-esteem and love what you do. You plan every move and want to be perfect. You feel you’ve done a good job and don’t make bones about announcing it to the world. You deserve appreciation.

Why then, do your friends call you ‘proud’? They feel you’re always showing off your achievements accomplishments. Sometimes, too they feel you’re reserved and snooty.

But are you really vain?

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Being confident is not a bad quality. It is very important to feel good about oneself. Only you know what efforts you have put in and who can take away from you the glow of satisfaction when things work out for you. As long as you show consideration to your fellow beings, there is really no harm in feeling good about your successes, and showing it. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. If anyone calls you a proud peacock – preen.

 4)  Being Introverted

“Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.” ~ Roy Goodman

In a room full of laughter, chatter and movement, you prefer being the odd one out. You are more comfortable in your corner being a silent spectator. You don’t feel the need to be the centre of attention in every gathering; neither do you feel the burning need to prove your point every time you open your mouth.

Your friends, however, tend to take you for granted and often overlook you because you’re so quiet. They take your silence for weakness and, many a time, ride roughshod all over you. They make decisions and expect you to follow them. Your well-wishers tell you to show more spine, but you are quite comfortable the way you are.

This is a good thing. This means you don’t share the same level of narcissism the rest of us do. It is not always necessary to be the heart and soul of every conversation. It takes a great deal of confidence to sit quiet and listen to others. Staying quiet while others are doing their thing also gives you a great opportunity to observe people and to study them carefully. People who chatter incessantly may miss out on many important cues and rush in to make a faux pas.  Unless you are really comfortable in your skin, you cannot be a bystander. What you have is something very unique! Don’t let anyone take it away from you by goading you to believe that being a silent onlooker is a bad quality.

5) Being a Pessimist

“I happen to be a pessimist, and maybe that’s a good thing because I don’t stop to smell the roses – which is not a good personal thing. I don’t stop and enjoy those moments. . .  always on to the next and never in the moment.” ~ Nicki Minaj

The buzzword today is to look at the half full part of the glass and not at the part that is empty. A lot has been said about positivity and the need to look ahead with hope for the future.

You have been chided constantly by your friends for being negative and always seeing the dark side of the issue. You are naturally cautious and don’t find it easy to believe in the inherent goodness of man and things. Are you wrong? Do you have to change this bad quality that you have?

Stop that thought! Are you sure that being pessimistic is a bad quality? No doubt, the person who lives with hope has a better chance of achieving his dreams, but is life really that simple? Usually an optimist is ill-prepared to face difficulties, because he has not envisaged many things that could go wrong along the way– things a pessimist has undoubtedly covered mentally already.

 “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” ~ Don Marquis